honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.
yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.
this is the best thing ive ever heard
(Source : campaignomar)
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs
i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time
to everyone with finals and exams and big projects due very very soon and haven’t started anything yet
Plot twist: Tumblr.com is an unused domain. You log onto a blank page every day. The people you follow are all personalities in your split mind. Their ramblings on your dash are ramblings in your head. As you follow more people, your personality fractures into more shards. You are on a downward spiral into self-conversing insanity and not even you know it.
I have a really hot waiter.Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.
wanna know what these all say?
"suck his dick"
(Source : thereadysext)